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A FEW FUNK LOGIC IDEAS THAT NEVER
MADE IT
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| The Bubblemaster 5000 - Single Rack
Space Fish Tank |
| It was a novel idea but, unfortunately, due to
the heat of the 3,000 Watt Power Amp just below, the fish were dead within
6 minutes. |
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| The Rack-O-Pult |
| Our intent was to make a Spring Loaded rack,
so you could angle your gear, fore to aft, with ease--perfect for varied
height engineers. We mistakenly used a high-tension spring and the
rack is now face down, stuck 2" deep in the hardwood floor of the control
room (we'll miss you Fluffy). |
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| The Limbotomy |
| A cross between a Theremin, a Limbo Stick and
a Drill Press. (Our Attorneys have advised us not to discuss the
matter until the case is settled). |
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| The Spinalizer |
| Remember how cool EARTHQUAKE was in "Sensurround"?
We figured that there should be a way to interface your mastering gear
directly to your spine, so EVERY one of the senses could feel the power
of the mix, at the core level. We also felt that 120VAC and even
220VAC, was entirely insufficient to achieve an accurate mix. (Again,
our attorneys.....) |
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| Enginac |
| A pharmaceutical product designed to help engineers
cope with the long hours, demanding producers and flaring egos. Ingredients:
12 Snickers Bars, 136 bags of Jalapeno Cheese Nachos, 53 Diet Cokes and
a Quart of Olde English, all packed into 1 little pill with the taste of
a Rutabaga. Our mistake? The engineers were so pre-occupied
with trying to figure out what the pill tasted like, nothing was getting
recorded. |
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| The Slumberator |
| A Mattress with MIDI triggers under every spring
so you can say... "Hey Baby... I wrote this just for you"! (Aftertouch
optional) |
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| The ? |
| A ? |
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| (And a Few That Need No Explanation........almost) |
| Beef Jerky Drumsticks |
| Mic stands wrapped in bubble pack (the kind with
the 1" bubbles) |
| 1/2" Guitar Cable Jacks for better sustain |
| Near-Field Monitors with built-in mirrors |
| 200HP Motorized engineer chairs |
| Chocolate Covered Microphones: "Eat your
way to success" |
| CD Burner/Waffle Iron |
| Refurbished Bank Vault Vocal Booths (very, very
quiet, but we forgot about the time locks) |
| Tiny wireless mics shaped like a cymbal stand
for recording the journey through the human body |
| Console Talkback Mic/Cell Phone |
| Weed-Eater Mic Stands |
| Blowfish Shakers |
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| ...
just to name a few. Many more
to come, we're sure! |
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Back, Back, back,
back, back
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