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Once upon a time, on a very remote portion
of a beautiful Hawaiian island, a tiny little Koa tree sprout squirmed
out of the rich soil and kissed the warmth of the sun. For many,
many decades the little green sprout struggled to survive savage attacks
from ravenous vegetarian birds, disoriented mollusks, meteorites and immense
footed homo-sapiens.
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Alas, the time had come...
the little sprout was now a full grown, mature Koa tree. Standing
strong and majestic, it quivered not in the formidable trade winds.
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But, (enter
scary music) there were those who knew the
beauty of its innards. One cold, misty morning, two dark shadows
appeared in the forest. Dressed only in propeller beanies and Superman
outfits, their shiny axe dripped the morning moisture. In an instant,
with a loud CRACK! and a flurry of birds, the proud Koa tree, once but
a mere seed, was now on its way to an even higher calling (though
just as seedy)... the Recording Industry!
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The formerly innocent little Koa tree sprout
now found itself in a dark, secret laboratory, deep in the corrupt jungles
of Southern California. Though blindfolded, it could just make out
the sound of a low, annoying hum and a bunch of profanity from an adjacent
room; it also wondered why music kept stopping and starting. Eventually,
it was poked and prodded and sawed and shaped and sanded and finally given
a beautiful, lustrous finish. Things were looking up! |
| Days went by... though not much really happened
since the NAMM show was grinding away in a nearby city full of Angels.
But, once the show was over, the two dark strangers returned with many
beautiful gifts for the brave little former tree, now 3.5" x 19".
Slowly and carefully, from their quivery little hands, they placed their
gifts: Gold Telecaster Knobs,
Bronze
Dust, a beautiful rectangular object from
the planet VU
that danced with life at even the slightest whisper, and some other muck
that was sort of necessary to make the whole thing work. |
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Finally, the time was at hand.
After countless hours of intensive design, moments of vision and many,
many Twinkies, the once little green Koa sprout was reborn!
This thing of beauty was ready to be unveiled
to the world...
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It would now be known as
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(Click Red Velvet Cloth Above
to Unveil)
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