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A
FEW FUNK LOGIC IDEAS THAT NEVER MADE IT
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| The
Bubblemaster 5000 - Single Rack Space Fish Tank |
| It
was a novel idea but, unfortunately, due to the heat of the
3,000 Watt Power Amp just below, the fish were dead within
6 minutes. |
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| The
Rack-O-Pult |
| Our
intent was to make a Spring Loaded rack, so you could angle
your gear, fore to aft, with ease--perfect for varied height
engineers. We mistakenly used a high-tension spring
and the rack is now face down, stuck 2" deep in the hardwood
floor of the control room (we'll miss you Fluffy). |
| |
| The
Limbotomy |
| A
cross between a Theremin, a Limbo Stick and a Drill Press.
(Our Attorneys have advised us not to discuss the matter until
the case is settled). |
| |
| The
Spinalizer |
| Remember
how cool EARTHQUAKE was in "Sensurround"? We figured
that there should be a way to interface your mastering gear
directly to your spine, so EVERY one of the senses could feel
the power of the mix, at the core level. We also felt
that 120VAC and even 220VAC, was entirely insufficient to
achieve an accurate mix. (Again, our attorneys.....) |
| |
| Enginac |
| A
pharmaceutical product designed to help engineers cope with
the long hours, demanding producers and flaring egos.
Ingredients: 12 Snickers Bars, 136 bags of Jalapeno
Cheese Nachos, 53 Diet Cokes and a Quart of Olde English,
all packed into 1 little pill with the taste of a Rutabaga.
Our mistake? The engineers were so pre-occupied with
trying to figure out what the pill tasted like, nothing was
getting recorded. |
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| The
Slumberator |
| A
Mattress with MIDI triggers under every spring so you can
say... "Hey Baby... I wrote this just for you"! (Aftertouch
optional) |
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| The
? |
| A
? |
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| (And
a Few That Need No Explanation........almost) |
| Beef
Jerky Drumsticks |
| Mic
stands wrapped in bubble pack (the kind with the 1" bubbles) |
| 1/2"
Guitar Cable Jacks for better sustain |
| Near-Field
Monitors with built-in mirrors |
| 200HP
Motorized engineer chairs |
| Chocolate
Covered Microphones: "Eat your way to success" |
| CD
Burner/Waffle Iron |
| Refurbished
Bank Vault Vocal Booths (very, very quiet, but we forgot about
the time locks) |
| Tiny
wireless mics shaped like a cymbal stand for recording the
journey through the human body |
| Console
Talkback Mic/Cell Phone |
| Weed-Eater
Mic Stands |
| Blowfish
Shakers |
| |
| ...just
to name a few. Many more to come, we're sure! |
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